This year, more than ever, I felt surrounded by “stuff”! On all levels, I was cluttered. In my mind, my surroundings and everything felt like it was busting at the seams. I would both physically and energetically clean my space, and yet it would still feel like something was off. Then I realized that I had to start to de-clutter my life. Truth is I was a much different person when I was in my twenties than I was in my mid-thirties. In my twenties, it was “things” that I collected that were fake fulfilling me. When looking back, I was an internal mess in my twenties. At one point I had 100 pairs of shoes. A) I am not proud of that and B) no one needs that many shoes. Reality is most of the shoes hurt my feet and I never wore them or wore them once, but kept them for some kind of sentimental value. We will discuss this shortly. When I turned thirty, I had a shift. It wasn’t because I was in a new decade of my life. Things that once made me happy were suddenly not as fulfilling as they once were. I had a dramatic overhaul of shifts in perspective. Suddenly, material items like brand names, bags, belts, jewelry, shoes etc were not what made me happy anymore. To be honest, those things never did. They only masked the internal clutter I was trying to hide such as my stress, unhappiness, depression, anger, frustration and other emotions I didn’t want to feel and more. Without realizing it, I had formed unhealthy attachments to objects. I bought them to fill a void. It didn’t work.
So, even though it took about 5 years for this shift to fully come into perspective, and probably even longer. I found myself at 35 and wondering what the heck to do with all this stuff? When you go through a major life overhaul it can be overwhelming. So, I suggest you start in steps. If you are like me, make a list of the steps you want to take. You will want to have three lists going for yourself, and sub-lists within each list. The first list is all of the clutter that fills up your mind. All the things you worry about over which you have no control. That one was first on my list and I have been working on that for a good three years and I will probably be a work in progress on that for the rest of my life. Then you want to write down on that list as well, all the people that hold space in your head that don’t deserve to. I speak from experience! Cut them free from your head or send them a rent bill every month, because it is not worth it. Forgive them, forgive yourself and then let it go, and repeat if and when necessary. Then, write everything else on the list that clutters your head. Like, finances, security etc. Then, go through the list and cross off things over which you have no control. Automatically, those get cut and let go. I never thought a day would come where I would complain and say, I am paying too much for my phone bill or my cable bill. But, the day came. If finances are something that fills your head with clutter, the best thing you can do it actually look at them. See where you stand. See where you can adjust and make changes. What is each worth for you to keep in your life? Call the vendors you work with and see if there is any way they can lower your monthly bill. For me, I looked at my bills, I decided to get rid of cable. Yes, it took some adjustment. But, I was already paying a membership to Amazon Prime and had access to Netflix so spending over $100 just in cable didn’t make sense. Just like 100 pairs of shoes, I didn’t need to be watching that much TV anyway. I wanted quiet in my life and to be able to hear nature. I changed car insurance companies where I actually got more for less money. My point is to look at areas of your life and see where the money is going and adjust where you can and how you can. It doesn’t happen overnight, but the shift happens and then it becomes your comfortable place. Finances are hard for people. They are often the area that keeps people in places they don’t want to be any more for many different reasons. Make financial choices that your future self will thank you for. The next two lists may be harder believe it or not.
Energetically and physically clear your space. Energetically; everything that ever happens in our space leaves a residue of energy that can become imprinted in the space. Illness, doubt, arguments, negative emotions, trauma, grief and even every day energetic junk that you pick up can build up in the rooms of your space. Prosperity, high vibration, and abundance have a difficult time in lower vibration spaces. So, remove the clutter, organize, and make room for new. A rule that I have personally followed is that, if you have not used it in six months, get rid of it. Let’s be honest, we do not always have this “urge to purge”, or clean up. But, when your body tells you it is time, listen to it and just go with it. That is the absolute best time to go through your closet, cabinets, etc. When you get that urge to organize and clean things out, your emotions will less likely to interfere with your decisions of whether or not to keep sweatpants you love but can no longer wear because they are so worn out, or the CD you bought in 1998 that you now have in your digital music collection. Which organizing my digital library is also on my declutter list, as well as organizing my computer files. But like I said, let’s take small steps. If you are the type of person who doesn’t get that urge that is ok too; try to do a good de-clutter at the change of each season. Take that feeling and drive and make a “physical things” list. This was definitely where I saw the shift happen. Like I said, I had a lot of stuff, and a lot of stuff I simply didn’t use anymore. And, not only did I have stuff in my home, I also had some at my parent’s house too. (I know they will read this and say to themselves and you still do…again I am self-proclaimed work in progress.) Like I said before, the basic rule to de-clutter anything is; if you haven’t used it in six months it is time to let it go. This is where keeping things for sentimental reasons can come into play. You may not even want to do a list for the physical stuff and just start purging. When you have one of those moods where you just want to clean, that is your best time to do it. You will not be influenced by your emotions to keep that t-shirt from that place, a person visited and brought back for you that you never wear. No! It’s time to let that go. Now, when I decided to go through this phase I also took on being better to the environment. So, I didn’t want to throw anything away. Everything I was letting go of either had to be donated, given to a friend who wanted it, or recycled. So, make a pile of what is what. When I questioned an item, I put it in the Goodwill pile. I had a lot of really nice expensive things that I was going to let friends get first dibs on and so those went in a separate pile. The one thing I definitely came to terms with while I was doing this was that I had more than one bad habit in my twenties besides smoking. The first rule to any recovery process is admitting you have a problem. I had a big one on my hands that I didn’t want anymore. Like the shoes, I had to have because they matched my bag. Guess what, I never wore them. I bet if I added up everything I donated it would come to thousands of dollars. Someone said, “why don’t you sell these things”? Honestly, I was at the point I just wanted to give them a new life. If they were just going to sit in my closet like they had for the last six years, it was time to let it go and cut my losses. It got to the point where a friend asked me in a concerned voice, “why are you getting rid of all your stuff”? Are you planning on moving across the world or going somewhere”? I simply told them, “I just have too much and it is an older version of myself that I no longer am, and I am ready to let that go and free myself from that version of myself.” Now listen closely people. We all have those one pair of pants or that one item that looked amazing 15 to 20lbs ago that we hang on to as a goal. It is time to let those go as well. Now, this is a multilayered physical list that, for some, may require years to fully work through and that is ok. Besides Goodwill, I also like to donate to Dress for Success, and a local organization that helps families get back on their feet after disasters like house fires etc. Maybe you want to donate your items to a church or organization you like to work with. The point is let the items you are no longer using get a fresh start with someone who needs them. It may take you longer to spread the wealth and find new homes. For instance; you have tons of new bottles of hand lotion that you know you are never going to use. For those who can’t afford such a luxury your donation would be like a lottery win. There are a lot of women’s shelters and shelters in general that will take items off of your hands. Re-gain your energy, space and emotional well-being. You will be amazed at how accomplished, happy, lighter and at ease, you will feel once you declutter your space. Only then will you see how the clutter was impacting you. I always found that when my home felt cluttered my overall life felt cluttered and stagnant. Even after days of work and many bags of things to drop off at donation locations, I still felt like there was a lot left. But again, I am a work in progress. I, at least, got the Chi moving in my space and it was starting to feel good. In the right space, you can accomplish your dreams. Sometimes that space is outside of you, and sometimes it is internally. And, if you’re lucky, you’re outside surroundings start to match your internal cleansing process.
The last list is all the internal things you need to de-clutter which takes the longest and is often the most stubborn and challenging. Looking back I think I have been de-cluttering my soul all my life. At least feels that way. Now, I wouldn’t suggest trying to do everything at once like I did, because it can often times it can feel like a crash diet where you are setting yourself up for failure. There were many times during the soul part of the de-clutter I felt like a failure, that I need to be better, do better, and be the best version of myself I could be. Again, I think this list is one we work all of our lives because on because as humans we are constantly evolving, changing, upgrading ourselves, working through things, dissolving toxic relationships even with ourselves, and working on boundaries. Not to even mention all of the past life stuff we internally hold. If you are empathic, you are also carrying everyone else’s “stuff” you are carrying around with you also. There is no quick fix when it comes to de-cluttering your soul. But, when you combine these lists that is where you start to see the impact on your soul. During my de-cluttering phase, I took a look at my actions, limitations, how I was treating and caring for my body, soul as well as others, and environment. I stopped using straws and reduced the amount of trash I had, and focus on how I was impacting the environment. I started taking better care of my skin, and feeling my feelings and not filling them with things. I looked at foods that I was putting in my body and how they were processed. I worked on my feelings towards myself and removed fears and triggers. This is also when you have to learn to say “NO”. Not only to other people that are causing these triggers for you but to yourself as well. No, you don’t need that etc. Whenever I “wanted to buy” something, I slept on that decision overnight and 99% of the time I didn’t want it anymore. And, yes that is something I will have to continue to work on every day. But, when you become more fulfilled internally than externally, you don’t need all this “stuff”. I used to look at the world’s problems as something that was too big for me to fix and it was so overwhelming. It is as if Humans are literally hoarding the Earth and there was nothing that I could do to make that better. But, I was wrong. I could stop contributing to the problem. By going through this process, I not only think about what I am buying from a financial standpoint, but I have a different perspective of need and want after purging my life. So, I accumulate less. I also realized that with no cable my life isn’t any less than it was and I am not missing out on that and I find less clutter in my mind. It doesn’t mean that now I am naive to the world. I just view it differently and choose to live a slower pace without the noise whenever I possibly can.
Now, this really only scratches the surface of the infinite possibilities of shifts you can experience when you de-clutter your life. Again, you will want to have patience with yourself. Don’t try and do everything at once as you may find yourself in a mind, body and soul clutter mess. Also, don’t give yourself false expectations that they next day you are suddenly going to feel amazing. Especially on the mental and soul clutter items. Now, to really de-clutter your life could take years. If that is the pace is right for you, that is ok. I still have a ton of de-cluttering left to do myself and I would imagine I will be doing it for a while still, if not my whole life. But, I do know that this process has really, for the first time, allowed me to let go of the past that I really needed to let go! Release, forgive and move forward to my present and the future me that I am building every day. One that feels fulfilled on the inside because of healthy relationships, friendship and love of myself and purpose rather than one who collects “just in case items” for a non-existing use or need.
Finally, once I have physically and energetically cleaned my home, I am started feeling like I could take a deep breath. Remember, you are going to have ups and downs and that is ok. It is not a sprint, it’s a marathon and all you can do is wake up each day and do the best you can that day and that is enough. Nothing more, nothing less than your best. Every day you have the opportunity to be the person you know you can be mistakes and all. It’s a small piece in a big picture, but can have a wonderful impact on your overall life. You don’t need to get rid of everything you own to declutter your life. It is more about the learning process that organizing and process of an item with a purpose offers. You have all you need inside of you to feel fulfilled without trying to clutter your mind, body & soul. I hope something in this month’s blog helps you on the path to finding it.
© 2018 Elysian Life Design. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Elysian Life Design with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.