Accepting the Process

abd98a6c-ee32-4f37-87d1-12ddf599c358In this life, we all have challenges, additions, aliments, relationship issues (romantic or otherwise), suffered the death of a loved one and shifting personal perspectives that we will have to work on and overcome to the best of our ability. Personally, I have dealt with all of these in this lifetime (as many of us have). I have come to realize that, when we are in those moments of despair, sadness, illness, and this utter feeling of being alone that no one else can understand, we are still exactly on the path we are supposed to be. It is during that time when your soul does the best searching, healing and can awaken parts of you that you did not know existed.  Every experience aids you in becoming who you are, good, bad or indifferent. It affects who we are and who we become. When you surrender to it, accept it and recognize that you do not have to understand why; that is when you will see the blessings behind the experience.

Most of my life, I have been a medical mystery. As a child, I got all the really weird things that doctors either hadn’t seen or could not diagnose. Some diagnoses were overlooked because of my young age. When I was a teenager, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder. The funny thing about those is no one knows why a person gets it, or what causes it to act up. Over the course of my teenage and young adult life I dealt with the disorder as best I could. To complicate the matter, the primary treatment was a specific drug classification to which I happened to be allergic.  I was forced to seek alternative therapy. Over 16 years, I had been and seen it all with this disorder from one extreme to the other while facing surgery to a miraculous healing and staying in remission for 10 years. In those 10 years other challenges peeked through like difficult relationships, death and my own mind. Last year, the symptoms returned with vengeance after 10 years in hibernation. It was like the revenge of the autoimmune system. It got so bad, that I spent a few weeks in the hospital and while I was there I remember talking to God and asking the famous question. “why?” That was all I wanted to know, why this was happening again, why did I have to have this, hadn’t I been through enough, why, why, why, I didn’t understand! We all ask those questions, and we all go through times when we question God’s actions and his love for us. I had a direct connection to his answers, and I still wasn’t getting an answer. I had to take almost 6 months of disability from my full time job, to get to a point where I wasn’t fighting with my body. Over those six months, every day was a process and every day I had to argue with my mind that was over the illness, and my body that had other plans. The body is a mysterious form of our selves. If you are not paying attention to it, even when it screams at you, it will shut you down faster than you can blink your eyes. Most of my life I never really liked to ask for assistance with something or admitting that I could not do something or handle a situation. When you are sick you have no choice but to start asking for help. I was so weak, that I couldn’t drive, I couldn’t go grocery shopping, or perform everyday activities. I had reached the point where I had stopped demanding answers and surrendered to whatever its was going to be. I had fought the fight. I had prayed and prayed and asked for a divine healing, I believed anything was possible and that one day I would wake up and just be all better. The thing was is I wasn’t done learning what I needed to on this particular journey.

When you have that much time on your hands you do a lot of thinking. I learned a lot over the 6 months of the healing crisis and the 6 months after that it took me to really readjust back to life and the life that I now know. It is easy for me to say this now, but had I not experienced that I would have missed out on some pretty big lessons and healings that needed to take place in order for me to become who I am today. Once I finally understood that I didn’t need to know why, but know that there was a reason and I just had to accept the process, I realized that I had learned the following:

  • Self-Patience & Listening to your body: You can go your whole life and think you have patience and you very well may. But I bet the patience is for everyone else except for yourself. Self –patience is one of the biggest challenges I have ever had to learn. It is a hundred times harder than patience for another person. Prior to this experience I did not listen to my body. I took it for granted. I would push it harder when it said it was tired. When I was sick, I was in denial. I would pretend when it was sick like it wasn’t, I would feed it things less than it deserved. I had taken it for granted on numerous occasions and I didn’t understand how quickly it could take me down. Since then, I began to understand the relationship that we have with our body on a much different level. You have to treat it kindly. When it tells you it is tired lay down and rest. When you bleed stop and take time to heal. You have a connection with yourselves that only you can understand. Sometimes you are faced with choices about you and your health on a spiritual, physical or mental level and only you can be your best advocate. Work with your body and fight for it and not against it. It will take you a lot farther that way. No matter what you are facing, you need your body to be on your side. You need to allow yourself to go through the process of emotions and have patience with yourself as you work through the fear, doubt, grief, loss, shame and challenges. When we lose someone or separate from someone, our whole body feels it and aches. We lose our appetite and forget to care for ourselves because in certain moments we can’t. Allow it to process, but remember to listen and treat your body just as kindly as you treat your soul.
  • Humbleness: Being humbled is often a strong lesson for most of us. We all have a hard time asking for help. We have our life organized, and have a schedule for activities, then life intervenes and we need help. We have all been there, when someone you know or love says if you need any help, or if there is anything you need, let me know. There will come a day when you may have to take someone up on that offer. There is no shame in asking for help with something when you are truly in need of it. I had family members helping me with my laundry. I had neighbors checking if I needed things from the store, friends dropping off reading material or just coming to spend an hour visiting, and I had people who wouldn’t treat me like I was fragile. That is just as important when you are in the struggle. You do not want to allow the struggle to be the only thing you are, or how others define you. Accepting that you do not have to do everything, be everything or go everywhere yourself can really enhance the type of relationship you have with yourself and with the people you have in your inner circle.
  • What Matters: When you have a life changing experience, you take time to reflect on what really matters in your life. You do a life review, who you want to stay in your life, who maybe has served their purpose in your life. The important thing to realize is that nothing is a waste in your life. If you loved someone and then it didn’t work out, or you spent all your life loving someone and then they passed away, the point is that you loved them. Not everyone knows love, and that love was for a reason, maybe it was a lesson in ways that you didn’t know you could love, or was a stepping stone to a great love. Point is, it mattered, and there was a divine reason behind it. Sometimes it is hard to, what I call, transition back into life when you have experienced something that changes your perspective on life. If it is loss, you wonder how life can be the same without that person. If you are sick and then healthy, you can find yourself annoyed at the little things people complain about or take for granted. If you separate from a partner, you can wonder if that was the best there was for you, was all that time wasted, and whether you will love again. In every circumstance, there are unanswered blessings behind the reason. Maybe you had to leave the person you were with so you could find your soulmate. Maybe you had to learn new things about yourself. Or, maybe you had to get sick so you value your health. Even in loss there is an unseen blessings that can occur. Your support system may change from an experience or challenge. Perhaps someone you thought would be there wasn’t, and maybe you realized just how much someone loves you when you needed their support the most. Once you are done and out of the shadows you will find the rocks that get you through and strengthen you on the new part of your journey. In this world, you matter, your experiences matter and the love you share with another person matters on any level. When you love you never lose anything, that love always comes back to you. Maybe it comes back through another person, a pet, a friend, a moment or maybe the love you share with your partner grows stronger. But, you experience meaningful love along your journey, and love always finds its way back to you in many forms.
  • Direction: I had started my business a year or so before I had gotten sick. I knew it was the direction I was supposed to take, but I wasn’t all in. I had still been wavering back and forth, not sure if I was ready to fully step into my spiritual path. Well, after spending 6 months thinking about what I was doing, and I started moving forward in my spiritual direction. See, part of the reason why I had fallen ill was because I wasn’t stopping to think about where I was going, specifically in regards to my career. I knew a year earlier that Spiritual Consulting was my purpose, Medium readings, life paths, spiritual healing messages, and yet I wasn’t really working at it. I had all these things in place but was missing my motivation. Well God took me out of the corporate environment for 6 months and said “HERE, what do you really want now?” Do you want to do your life purpose or do you want to go back to not following your divine direction. Had I not faced that challenge when I did, I would have just had a blog for my business with one entry, I wouldn’t have my website done, or a client base ,or really thought about what kind of additional services I wanted to offer. Honestly, I am not sure I would have given the right guidance to my clients at the time either as I do now, because I understand more at a soul level what our life journey is about. I had literally been through my own version of hell and resurrected up from the ashes like a Phoenix. That experience made me better at understanding and being there spiritually for the people who come to me for spiritual guidance.
  • God will get you through: “But they that wait upon the Lord Shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31, KJV) Even when you think, “there is no way I can come back from this, there is no way I can love again, there shows no hope in my medical diagnoses.” God is there holding your hand and you are surrounded in his love. Some people think God is too busy, I don’t want to bother him with this or that, I know because I used to be one of them. I figured there were far too many things more important than whatever I had going on. Well Spirit knows no time, God is everywhere at the same time, I can’t explain how, just that he is, and that he personally cares about you. Every cut, broken heart, laugh, tear or smile God is there. The only way you can truly make it through something, is having faith. Even if you have issues with God or view your faith in a different manner, or you believe in something that is a higher source than you are. Form that bond, strengthen your relationship with that source, rely on it, depend on it, know that it will get you through anything, because when your faith runs low, God will have faith for you.

So, let’s say that you have accepted the process, you have done everything you have been told to do. You made lifestyle changes, you took classes that were going to enhance your skills that are related to your life path, you took your medicine religiously, you opened yourself up to other people like you never have, but then boom, you get a setback.  Setbacks may happen, but do not let them take away any of the work you have already accomplished or whatever illness  you have overcome. This year, 5 months after I had gotten off from the medication that had been keeping me in remission, I woke up one morning and my symptoms were been back. No warning, no easing in, just back. Immediately my mind went for the worst. I thought, “oh here we go again, I can’t do this anymore.” I begged and pleaded and prayed and prayed to not deal with this again. I asked over and over why, why again? Well as it turned out even after all I had learned there was still some learning to be done. I had worked through the healing and the layers and the emotions that had gone along with the illness, but energetically the symptoms were the pattern that was getting my attention.  So, I had to get a game plan together. I told the Universe that this was not the way to get my attention anymore, and worked out a new way that was gentler. Once I did this, the symptoms went away and I was once again living in harmony with my body. When life throws you a setback, assess the situation. I know it will be hard. But, to NOT go directly go to that place in your mind, that place that sets you back more. This is especially important when you are going through transitions or major energetic releases or releasing patterns. The Universe may do a spiritual check-in, meaning every now and then after or before a transitional period, the Universe will throw a little old in the mix, just to make sure you really want to continue with the new things coming into your life. Once you come to an agreement with the Universe you will be back on track and enjoying your new enlightenment.

“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.” -Sonia Ricotti.  The Most important thing to remember is, everything we face in this world has its reasons. Although they may seem unjust at the time, they often accelerate us to where we need to be. We may not always get to know why or what the reasoning is, what blessings will come from heart ache, illness or loss, but sometimes not knowing is part of the process. We have to accept the parts along the way that make up who we become. Even though it may be a challenging road, accept it. Be thankful. But, understand at the same time this is not your weakness or your challenges that define you. It is how you continue to grow and become closer to your own divine self that embodies your enlightenment. Accept the process, find the patience for yourself, become humbled, know what matters most in your life, find your direction and know that, above all, God will get you through it.

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