An Empath’s Guide to Dating and Relationships: Part 2

A few years ago, I wrote “An Empath’s Guide to Dating and Relationships”. It has been by far our most popular blog. What I have learned from this is that love is really universal and so is energy. People from all over the world are experiencing the same things regarding love and relationship. This applies whether it is a parent, a sibling, co-workers or a romantic partner. As an empath, you are so sensitive to energy shifts from people, places, things and world events. Here are some answers to the most common questions over the years and some additional information.

One of the most common things I know I have experienced, as well as others, is this ping pong effect that can happen with someone you are really close with, especially a partner. Let’s say that your partner is going through an incredibly challenging time. As a result, they shut down emotionally and it is like a stone wall barrier. Although the situation has nothing to do with you personally, you feel the energy of the situation very strongly. It is very common that you may pick up the other person’s emotions of sadness, anxiety, frustration, loneliness, depression and more. Many times you may think that it is you feeling that way when, in fact, it is the other person. Then what can happen when you are both really close like a husband or wife, or in a romantic relationship, and both of you are sensitive to energy the energy can bounce back and forth from each of you, creating the ping pong effect. You may feel helpless in this type of situation, or feel like you are going crazy, or not know what to do at all. Honestly, the best thing you can do is to center your energy and ground yourself. By you doing this, you will also impact the other person’s energy and help them ground and center their own energy without even realizing it. It can help a couple out of that ping pong feeling and allow those feelings of anxiety, depression etc. to shift into peace, happiness and feelings of living in the present. You can review some information about centering and grounding in part one which you can read here: https://elysianlifedesign.wordpress.com/2015/02/01/an-empaths-guide-to-dating-and-relationships/

Last year, I wrote a book called “Spiritual Grounding and More: A Reference Guide & Manual” It has four difference grounding techniques plus an additional one for after travel. It also has a lot of extra tools such as protecting your energy, clearing your chakras, and more. If you want more information or to download a copy of the e-book version click here:

https://www.etsy.com/listing/246931027/spiritual-grounding-more-a-manual-and?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=spiritual%20grounding&ref=sr_gallery_2

Another common question, has been about someone being an empath in a relationship. Sometimes past issues come up for them causing fear and panic. This causes them to abruptly walk away from the relationship even though they care about the other person. This can be a really hard thing to deal with. I know I myself have dealt with these feeling in a relationship. We all have things called triggers, and it is very common for those triggers to carry on from one relationship to another, even unintentionally. Honestly, you may not even know you have a trigger about something until you start a new relationship. The most common one I have come across has been around communication. Let’s say that you were in a past relationship with someone who kept things from you and lied with the intention of misleading your or hurting you, such as cheating or manipulation. I spent most of my college years in just that scenario. Then, you meet a great person and you are like “yes, this is it”. You start a new relationship and a few months in you start to notice that they are quite or you feel maybe they are being secretive about stuff. Because of your past experience with this emotion, your ego will automatically make you think that the same thing is happening again.  Now there can be many reasons why someone is acting secretive that don’t involve cheating. Perhaps they are dealing with something personal with which they don’t want to burden you. Or, maybe the new relationship is bringing up a trigger for them as well and they are trying to work through it without you thinking they have lost their mind. They may even be having issues with self- worth or feelings of they don’t deserve you. These are very common feelings for an Empath to feel. The best way to avoid a breaking point where someone walks away is to talk about it and be honest about your feelings. This will be a challenge for some as having talks about your feelings can make you feel vulnerable and sometimes you don’t understand your feelings or know how to describe them. You will want to do a few things before asking the other person if “you can talk”. First you will want to make sure you are grounded and your energy is protected before having that kind of conversation. Next, make sure you both have a full stomach, because, let’s face it when someone is hungry, the energy of angry and annoyance can escalate emotions. Also, if you know you need to have one of these kinds of talks, ask the Universe to show you the right time to do so. Then keep yourself open so you see when they tell you the right time is. Also, you don’t want to have this type of conversation when either of you is tired, angry or frustrated about another situation. And, when you speak to the person, it is important not to play the blame game or say things below the belt or make someone feel ashamed of their feelings. That is the fastest way to get an Empath to walk away. Be completely honest with the other person and maybe even share things about yourself and allow yourself to feel vulnerable. This will help open the lines of communication. In my case, I make sure I am grounded and that my partner and I are fed and relaxed. When I feel the time is right, I work certain topics into the conversation. The two Archangels I highly suggest working with in this situation are Archangel Gabriel, who is the Archangel of communication, and Archangel Raguel, who can help with fairness and resolving disagreements.

Another popular question that comes up is what is my biggest recommendation for an Empath? I can’t stress enough the impact that daily affirmations can have on your life as an Empath.  It will help you stay in the moment, focus on yourself, and allow you to be in your own energy instead of feeling everyone else’s. Also another tip is to ask to be disconnected from the mass consciousness before you go to sleep. This will help your mind and body heal while you sleep and allow you to actually sleep better because your mind won’t be racing about things you saw on social media or TV.

Here are some other tools I really love for assistance for Empaths:

  • The Spiritual Power of Empathy by Cyndi Dale
  • The Reluctant Empath by Bety Comerford and Steve Wilson
  • The Art of Empathy by Karla McLaren

http://www.mysticfamiliar.com/library/empathy/empathy_exercises.htm

http://humansarefree.com/2013/11/coping-tips-for-empaths-to-help-you.html

http://boforbes.com/yoga-practice-lab/blog/feel-pain-empaths-guide-staying-balanced/

This is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) for anxiety that can be very helpful as an Empath:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWu3rSEddZI&t=279

Products that have been helpful:

https://www.etsy.com/listing/248459653/energy-grounding-protection-oil?ref=shop_home_active_7

http://cocreativehealth.com/shop/self-care/grounding/

https://doterra.com/us/en/p/balance-grounding-blend-oil

Stones and Crystals are also great for an Empath. You can place them under your pillow while you sleep, carry them in your pocket or purse throughout the day, or ladies can even wear them in their bra. Here is a great site where you can read all about Stones and crystals for Emapths and how they can help: http://www.crystalrockstar.com/crystals-for-empaths/#.WJBXEfkrLIU. I personally happen to love Lepidolite.

Being an Empath is nothing to be afraid or embarrassed of. We are living in a time unlike any other on earth. People are becoming more aware of spirituality. As a whole, we are raising our vibrations as a culture even if it doesn’t feel that way. We are also inundated, like never before, with information and news. If you are an Empath just be aware that you are impacted by these things, especially images you see on television. Our eyes cannot make the distinction between something on television and something that is happening right in front of us. So, when the message gets up to our brain, our mind and body then react accordingly. This may even activate or fight or flight responses which can wreak havoc on our health. Above all love yourself through the process. The more self-love you have the more love…relationships overall.  You will feel more confident in your interactions with people.  The world needs Empaths right now. I hope you found some good tools to help you along the journey. If you have additional questions, or want some help with a certain situation, feel free to email us here: contact@elysianld.com

“Empaths did not come into this world to be victims, we came to be warriors. Be brave. Stay strong. We need all hands on deck.” ― Anthon St. Maarten

Stay Inspired,

Stacey

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© 2017 Elysian Life Design. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Elysian Life Design with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

An Empath’s Guide to Dating and Relationships

feb blogImagine walking around Earth, and being able to feel what other people are feeling? That is the life of an Empath. An Empath is a person who is sensitive to emotions and can often sense emotions from other people and their surroundings. There are a few characteristics of empathy that form in childhood, and can make it challenging once starting to date, and enter into relationships. Some characteristics include having the ability to sense authentic feelings, self-worth, introverted and giving of one’s self to please another person. As an Empath continues to grow, whether they realize it or not, they can often create protection methods around themselves to keep them safe from all the feelings that they can sense. If an Empath does not understand these patterns they can often turn into bad habits, addictions, and self-sabotaging patterns.  Being able to pick up on such strong emotions from people and places you do not know can be overwhelming, but so can the feelings you receive from someone you love and that you are romantically invested in.

This topic is so complex and vast that it could be a whole book, and we would have only just gotten started. So, for the purpose of this article, I want to cover the basics and provide helpful topics and tools that you can use today and at point in your romantic relationship. Most will apply to any relationships you have with friends, family and co-workers.

  1. Centering: Knowing your emotions and nurturing yourself can be two of the most difficult things to do as an Empath. Empathic people are always thinking about others, so it is easy to forget to nurture themselves. When you are so connected to someone, and are in a romantic relationship with that person, it is very easy for you to pick up on their emotions, even when they are not around you. By knowing what emotions are typically your own, you can easily recognize when something is off. Say your partner had a difficult day, as will sometimes happen. You can sense the unbalance, and suddenly you find yourself not knowing what the heck is going on. It can drive you crazy and can make you try to overcompensate for something that has nothing to do with you. My best advice, is when you feel this sudden shift, (especially if you are in a relationship) stop and sit with yourself a minute. Ask yourself, “are these my emotions or someone else’s”. Here is a tool I use when I start to feel unsettled. I say, “universe, please release any emotions that are not my own right now, and let me sit with my own energy in this moment.” Within a few minutes, you will start feeling a difference, and this will help you work through the feelings and make you more balanced and calm.  When you are centered, you will be able to support your partner more clearly and in an authentic manner, because you will be working with your own energy and emotions. Other helpful tools to incorporate are meditation and yoga. Creating a mind, body, and soul nurturing plan is essential for all relationships in your life, including the one you have with yourself.
  1. How to work past the “knowing” in the beginning: When you know, you know. That is what everyone says, and they are right. I know it can be real easy to get so excited when we have met the right partner, that we have our whole life planned before our second date. That can be scary not only for you, but the other person to, so it is important to be patient in the beginning while staying faithful to your emotions. When you spend so much time working through emotions that are sometimes not so pleasant, when you get the good ones, it can feel like you are on a super love high, that will ebb and flow with love and fear. Fear is natural in this phase as it is the opposite of love, and as an Empath we are used to the uncertainty or even certainties of life to be scary at times. To avoid the emotional roller-coaster, It is important to do the following before you do anything else, ready…BREATHE! Stop, take deep breaths and remember to live in the moment. It is so easy to start to over analyze, so remember just because you know, doesn’t mean that they do. Allow the progression of the relationship to happen naturally, live in the everyday, and enjoy spending the time together and getting to know each other. Trust that the Universe and God will develop the relationship at the pace it is intended for it to be at. During this phase, prayer will keep your mind and heart at ease. Providing prayers for both you and the other person can be very beneficial. Spirit suggests something like, “God please help me and (Name) live today as you intended and help us strengthen and grow our relationship according to your will.”
  1. Self-worth: Empathic people will have some struggle with self-worth at one time or another. Their journey for their own self-worth can often impact their relationships. Empath’s will sacrifice certain beliefs or things they know about who they are, because the other person is not happy when they express that side of themselves. Empath’s stop or alter those traits because, they can feel like they are displeasing the one they love, so they adjust to make the other person happy. Empath’s get so emotionally invested that they lose who they are and what makes up their individuality. Not all relationships will be faced with this element, but that means an Empath has already come to understand their own self-worth and has come to value it. When that happens, the Empath will be open to find a healthy romantic partner. This partner will be encouraging and embrace all the parts and pieces that make you who you are. It requires patience and understanding, but trust me it’s worth it. An important part to remember is that even if your partner is understanding about you being an Empath, that doesn’t have to be all that you are to that person. Embrace and encompass all that you are and remember that empathy is just a piece of why they love and support you. It is ok if they do not understand your abilities on the same level as you do. That does not make their understanding any less encouraging or significant.
  1. Socializing as an Empath: Many Empath’s can have a hard time socializing in large crowds, parties, dates, dinner with friends or even small family gatherings. One time, before I even understood what being empathic meant, I was visiting my sister, who lived in a very populated city. We had walked about twenty minutes to arrive at this great sushi restaurant. Within five minutes of sitting at the table, I started sweating and feeling like I was going to be sick. I was about to experience an empathic nightmare. Was I suddenly ill, was I picking up bad vibes from the people in the restaurant, was I going to ruin other people’s evening because I did not feel well and couldn’t explain why, would I have to go? What if this had been a date, how will the people who do not know me look at me? Should I leave, should I stay, how do I deal with this? Thankfully, my sister is a very understanding person, because it had gotten to the point before we even ordered the food that I told her I had to leave and that I wasn’t feeling well. She walked back to her apartment with me, and we had another person at the restaurant order the food as take-out and meet us back at her home. Within a few minutes of being out of the restaurant, I felt fine. Then I worried had I over reacted, had I made the other people in my party leave with me for nothing. The evening ended up being just fine, and no one even looked at me like I had purple eyeballs or had eaten the “space special” from the movie Spaceballs like I imagined they would. My point is, at some point you may be faced with being in a situation where what you are sensing can become overwhelming, and it will be ok. It is ok to feel uncomfortable and excuse yourself from a situation or a place for a few minutes, or for the rest of the day if need be. Being in a relationship or dating will put you in social situations all the time that may include others. It is important to breathe and to tell yourself, “I am ok, it’s ok, and everything is ok.” Repeat that as many times as you need to get through the situation. There will be moments, where you may be out and will not be able to leave or excuse yourself, so having a plan of action before going someplace, is crucial. Methods like Emotional Freedom Technique, protection, essential oils, and grounding are all helpful to incorporate, and we will discuss a few in the next section. One thing I have learned is that people are really more understanding than we sometimes give them credit for. If you find yourself in similar situation, it is ok to share this with your partner and let them know what is going on. Sometimes the solution can really be just the other person taking your hand to re-center you and remind you that everything is ok.
  1. Protection and Grounding: Protection and grounding are two of the most important things you can do every day that turns your unconscious empathy to conscious choices. When you are an Empath, you will experience many overwhelming emotions and physical ailments that you cannot understand or make sense of. There are various methods that one can use for grounding and protection every day that you can find on the internet, or let ElysianLD help you find the right one for you. In fact, I highly recommend that if you are empathic, or think you are, that every morning you take 5-15 minutes grounding yourself and placing protection around yourself. This practice will enhance your everyday and allow you to work through being around other people, while you learn to control and develop your abilities. There is no right or wrong way; it is more important to do what feels right for you. If you are currently looking for a daily routine, I suggest the daily grounding meditation from Advanced Nutrition and Energetics at http://www.healingne.com/our-tools/meditations/ . When you are dating, it is important for you to sit with your own emotions and to stay grounded in your interaction with the person you are getting to know. These methods will be increasingly important as you enter into further commitments and marriage. Spending daily time with another person and incorporating family members, lifestyles and friends can act as empathic triggers, so having methods that work for you already in place will help you stay grounded and balanced throughout any situation.

Being an Empath can affect your everyday, in all areas of your life. Regardless if you are single or married, having the right set of spiritual tools will benefit you. As with any new talents or gifts it can take time for you to work through techniques that will provide you the best support. As I explained in the beginning, this is such an in-depth topic with a variety of information that could be beneficial for any relationship, romantic or otherwise. If you feel you are empathic and would like to know more, I encourage you to learn more about this topic in a method that works best for you. If you have specific questions about your relationship, techniques we have mentioned, or want to know additional tools that may help, please contact us via email at contact@elysianld.com .  Look for future articles as we will be exploring this topic further.

Stay Inspired By the Divine

Stacey

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Click here to read An Empath’s Guide to Dating and Relationships: Part 2

© 2015 Elysian Life Design. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express or written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Elysian Life Design with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.